Rantings of a troubled mind

Lately I have been pondering over the existential crisis that many of the people my age are encountering. To not confirm! To not confirm to being a nerd/geek/studious kid. To not confirm to relationships of any kind, to not confirm to beliefs; religious and otherwise. The problem though lies with the fact that a conscious and pressurized urge to ‘not confirm’, is conformist too! Let me explain.

When I speak to some of the so-called non-conformists, I get tangled in their convoluted idea of friendship and trust. The trust that changes when the hormones do a roller coaster in the body. A person whose trust/ friendship/love varies like the clothes of stars on ‘gossip girl’ makes me wonder what kind of mental trauma must have rendered them so and how much of therapy it might need. Phew! Well, hello there plastics, here’s a reality check: In the long run, the unconditional love, letting go of ego and holding on to the fact that people matter, pays off. For good or for worse you realize how far you could go for a friend and be burnt or how far you’ve come together. There isn’t winning and losing. There’s a place for that, a playground and you wouldn’t survive it, not alone! If having true friends and being able to say things honestly with gumption matters to people would they rather prefer having such friends or the plastics who are happy outside, hollow inside? If that is being conformist, I’m gladly one.

While we speak about hollow-ness we harbor within ourselves, when did mediocre become the fad? And when did passionate, overwhelming love for things in life become boring? It is scary what will happen when happily hollow beings procreate! Imaging having mini versions of plastics superficially smart inherently stupid, with the IQ of a box of hammers. Who are we fooling but ourselves! Eclectic and blurry are our visions of the future, idealistic but scattered are our dreams while the reality of life and innocence of  tears collide in our marketplace of a mind, I hope we have a hand the holds and that be an anchor, a mast as we stay stead fast.